Hello November.


       November is a month where we as a nation are focused on thankfulness. At this time we give thanks for all of our blessings that we may experience and take for granted throughout the rest of the year. We thank God for our family, friends, jobs, food, and whatever else has been making us happy that year. The last two Novembers have been a bit different for me. What was I thankful for? Well, I had to dig deeper than most and just be grateful that I was a survivor or that anxiety and fear hadn't gotten the best of me (for the moment anyways). See, over the last two years, it has felt like I have constantly been battling the darkness. Just when I would feel like I was living in the light, the darkness would come in like waves crashing upon the seashore and send me back into a plight of doubt and confusion. Of course through it all, Jesus never let go and held on to me while I held back for dear life.  He was always faithful and always blessing me with his love and mercy. Jesus is like that. He knows our every moment and holds our hands through it all, good or bad. I am a definite witness to that kind of love in my life. So yes, I am thankful for those dark times which drew me closer to my Savior. I am thankful for my testimony of God's goodness in my life in and through the tragedies of assault and miscarriage  However this year, 2014,  I have a full heart of thanksgiving like I have never experienced before. I don't have to dig too deep to find it, in fact he's asleep in the swing right across from me as I write this. I am thankful for my perfectly beautiful baby boy.
      Judah is 5 months old this week and without fail, every time I look at him, I am reminded of God's grace in my life. He has brought so much sunshine and absolute JOY to our family. My heart aches with love for this child that was given life inside of me. He's a part of me forever. Being a mother is the most exhausting yet exhilarating thing I have ever experienced.  I don't want one day to go by, where I take his precious life for granted. Its amazing when I reflect on my past and think about how if one thing had gone differently, this little life may have never been. Oh how good our God is!
     I have yet to blog much about motherhood, probably because most days, I feel like I'm just hanging on by a thread and getting through the day successfully if Judah has been fed, changed and is still alive. There are other days where I feel as though I've got some clarity and wisdom and may just make it after all.
On a lighter side, now that I am a new mom, my list of what I am thankful for is a bit different, but are some to name a few....

I am thankful for...
#1.SLEEP...Sweet sweet sweet amazing sleep for both me and baby.
#2. COFFEE. For when #1 doesn't happen.
#3. SLEEP...did I already say that?
#4. Family and friends who have been there and done that....advice is nice!!, (even though it seem that every baby is completely different and most advice turns out useless. )
#5. My husband who loves being a daddy. Its nice that he actually enjoys being involved in diaper changes and bathtime. I'm also thankful that he is a shoulder to cry on when Im exhausted.(sorry Dan that you're not further up the list!)

Of course there are so many more things to list off , but Judah is awakening and alas duty calls! So let us all remember to stop and be thankful not only in November, but as the months and years continue to pass. Let us stop, no matter the circumstance, whether its been a year of joy or a year of sorrow, and thank our heavenly Father for who He is and that He has shown us his redeeming love.



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