Cry of My Heart

      Last year on my 30th birthday  after a long family fun day at Sea World, I tucked in my sweet boys, kissed my husband goodnight and journaled about how I looked forward to my 30's. I wasn't upset or dreading that birthday like some friends of mine. However I embraced my 30's because I looked with expectation that this decade would be one of stability, security and self discovery. I had hoped that the constant identity shifts, seasons of suffering, discouragement and uncertainty of my 20's were things of the past. Little did I know that my first year in my 30's would actually be the complete antithesis of what I had hoped for and journaled about. In fact this was the most uncertain and most unstable year of my life. 31st Birthday with Jude and Luke     As I turned 31 yesterday, I looked back in reflection upon what this last year held for me. It wasn't pretty. In fact most days I still wake up pinching myself to see if this is real life, just hoping t