Cry of My Heart

"I'm not gonna worry, I know that you have got me right inside the palm of your hand Each and every moment What's good and what gets broken Happens just the way that you plan. But You're here You're real I know I can trust You Even when it hurts Even when its hard Even when it all just falls apart I will run to you Cause I know that You are Lover of my Soul, Healer of my scars You steady my heart Kari Jobe "Steady My Heart" This song brought me a lot of peace and comfort in my early days of healing. It really emphasizes the "trustworthiness' of our God. No matter what we may feel or think during a difficult situation, we know that our God is sovereign and can be trusted to be in control and working all things to our good. This was one of my greatest challenges during my recovery and to this day. My feelings are always changing. There were and are so many days where I didn't necessarily feel the peace and comfort from the Lo

As I have looked back on my experiences over the past few months, I see a lot of pain and heartache. I felt emotions I never could have imagined. However I also feel so incredibly blessed that I was able to find so many purposes for this pain. So many people experience great tragedies in their lives and never get to see the good that God is creating out of it. This was not true for me. Within hours, while I was still in the emergency room, I could begin to understand that God was going to use this incident for something bigger and greater. In the beginning, I was astounded by how many miracles happened both physically and spiritually.  I was encouraged by friends to record all of these moments so that I may hold tightly to them on the days it was much harder to trust that things were going to be alright. My journal pages kept filling up as the miracles continued to come. There are still so many days where I must go to these pages for encouragement and a renewal of trust in God. Isaia

Psalm 30:11-12 says "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothes me with joy , that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever. James 1:2 says "Consider it pure Joy, my brothers and sister when you face trials of various kinds. Pain. Suffering. Tragedy. Fear. Disappointment. Heartache. and......Joy?  Can these words go together? How can joy come out of pain? How can someone rejoice in the midst of tragedy? How can someone suffer yet sing forth praise?  Before September 8, 2012 I had heard of many stories of people living out these biblical concepts in their lives, yet my own life was full of goodness, grace and blessings.. My experiences were limited. The pain I had suffered was small in comparison to others. I trusted and loved God, but found it easy to do so because adversity had never truly come my way. I found myself in late August on my knees crying out t